So now I know. The high that comes with retail therapy doesn't last forever. No wonder shopaholics exist. They can't let go of that feeling of elation when comes with HAVING. It's addictive. I can understand that now. Now that the numbness is starting to wear off, it hurts even more. I don't regret hooking up with Midori of course. Midori's cool and she was a good choice. But everything's just starting to register. And now that Jemalelinh has enlightened me as to exactly what's up with me, I can say... She's right. And I hate myself for feeling like this. I hate being sad. Hate being angry; being upset and I hate feeling hurt. But why the hell should I feel hurt in the first place? Do I even have that right, I wonder.
I'm starting to wonder if I owe you an apology. I'm starting to wonder if I overreacted and just used you as an excuse to vent my frustrations. I don't know if I'm feeling hurt because you can't understand it or because I can't even understand it myself. I really don't know why. That present is still in my cupboard. I don't know if I'll really just give it away but I know that it may never see the light of day again.
I'm being a git aren't I? OH PLEASE!! Just get over yourself Su Mei. ARGH!! I'm a git.
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