A Day Of Reckoning

Sighz...

This past week seems to have been a rollercoaster of emotions. Started with anxiety about taking on a tuition job, followed by elation after having survived the first session; Now at the end of the week, I've experienced sadness and anger at some incessant teasing, and today... Today was a total tragedy.

I finally told my mum that I need to repeat one more semester. She's not very happy about it, as is expected. It was touch and go for a while in the car. She nagging (most prob due to extreme shock and disbelief) and me snapping back that I've already thought about everything she was nagging about. She was upset about me failing and I was upset about her not understanding how upset I was already about my failing. In the end we reached a truce of sorts. She concluded that a whole string of very unfortunate circumstances lead to my downfall and I agreed that I would take on no more responsibilities in hall, and think about going overseas to do a Masters or a second degree.

*bitter laugh*

What a week.

Words

Words are probably the most powerful thing any one person can possess. Words can be beautiful, they can be warm and make you smile. Words can inspire you to achieve the impossible.

But words aren't always good. Words can be cruel. Words can hurt. And words can destroy a person in an instant.

Today I went on a Fright Nite recee with the usual suspects -- fellow blockheads + the Fright Nite Fwocers. It was the usual thing. Walk through the beach, walk the house, give suggestions, dinner, disband. Only I was about the only person who wasn't having fun. One particular person, let's call him A (for A-S-S) was making digs at my weight/size the whole time, from the time we met up right up to the time we said our goodbyes. I was this close to beating him into a bloody pulp right in the middle of the Harbourfront shopping complex. It was all I could do to keep myself from bursting into tears on the way home. I know some of you are wondering why I'm having such an extreme reaction. Especially since I usually stomach such teasing with good humour and since I also make digs at it myself sometimes. But you need to understand.

That was BEFORE I decided to do myself a favour and treat my body with more respect than a couch-potato-bum and frequent stress-bingeings. That's why I agreed to join my mum's gym. That's why I agreed to take on a personal trainer. THAT'S WHY!!!

That's why it hurts. More than it should have. Because I began to wonder if any of it was working, whether all of it was worth it in the first place. It hurt. Bad.

So why don't I just name the idiot who caused all this pain? I wanted to. I really wanted to announce him and lay him to be crucified by my friends. But it wouldn't be right. I believe - though I don't like it - that he deserves to be judged on his own terms. He might not be an ass in somebody else's eyes. I cannot judge him for the rest of the world. Only for myself.

Being fair doesn't make it any less painful.

D-U-H

I'm just so smart.

I just spent 30min in the stuffy storeroom (the unbearable heat of the day not helping very much) opening all my boxes looking for my pencil case. Decided to prepare my stuff for my first day of tuition tomorrow and panicked slightly that I couldn't remember where my stationery was. So I searched and searched and couldn't find it anywhere in my boxes!! Where was it in the end?

On my table. In my room.

I'm such a blurcock...

EEEKKK!!!!

Help!! HELP!!!

I'm about to become a tuition teacher. (EEEEEEEEKKK!!!!!!!) And as you can see, (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!) I'm in a total panic about it. (Faint)

I agreed to take over for a friend of Evangelin's. He gives English language tuition to a 14-yr old Korean kid but he's going off to Japan for exchange and he's looking for a replacement. So he asked Evangelin who asked me. HhhhhhhhhhHHH... And I actually agreed. HHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAIIIIIII!!!!!!

I mean. I don't mind doing it. Just that... *in super tiny voice* I've never given tuition before... *look at floor look at floor* AND IT SCARES THE SHIT OF ME!!! What on EARTH am I going to do with a 14yr-old kid for two whole hours???? I'm going to faint. I start on Tuesday, 11am. I'm so going to blow it. I'll oversleep, then I'll be clueless about what to do with this boy, then.. then... AAAAAARRRRGHHH!!!

*whimper*

Uhm...

Just came back from a frisbee friendly with the new fwocers. It was quite fun although WHOO!! Talk about being out of shape man. Or rather being out of stamina. I haven't actually run around on a court like that since school ended. Ok so I do go on the treadmill quite often but it's different. I don't sprint on the treadmill and being a machine it's a controlled speed. There's no breaking, guarding and whatever. Eeek...

I shall be honest and admit that I was actually hoping for some reactions today when I went down for frisbee. Didn't really garner any of the kind though. So was a tad disappointed. But then I suppose it might still be too early to tell. I've only been at it for about a month. We'll see how things are by the time school starts again.

Very narcissistic rite? Can't help but feel guilty about actually WANTING comments. But I can't help it!! It's all so new and the tiny tiny signs of muscle tone is really exciting to me!!! I mean, can you imagine?? Muscle??? ME??? I have MUSCLES????

Oh God, forgive mine vanity...

HHHHHHHHOooooooooOOOOOOOOOTTTT!!!!

It. Is. B-L-O-O-D-Y H-O-T!!!!!

I am melting. Positively STEAMING!!! This morning I stepped out to go to the gym and I was sweating almost immediately!! ARRRGH.... It rains just ONE day a week now. It's disgusting. Wednesday was the highlight of my week I tell you... Rain the whole day through... So absolutely wonderful!! And then the sun came out again. Hurumph..

I can't feel my legs again. Yeah, did legs again today.. but I blame the silly spinning (read: stationary bike riding) class I joined yesterday afternoon at the gym. Spinning plus weight training for legs is a recipe for jellyfish walking. And the spinning class... OH for GOODNESS SAKE!! Bad enough that me mum and I were late and had to use the bikes right in front of the instructor. There was this silly woman beside me who decided I needed looking after. She kept looking over my shoulder to see if I was "doing things right" and for the first quarter of the class kept "helping" me adjust my resistance dial. I know she was trying to be helpful but for HEAVEN'S SAKE!! Stop looking over!! I was SOOO tempted to walk out of the class. Or just clonk her off her bike. And she kept making all these "WOO-HOO" noises in response to a very hyper spinning instructor. He was singing along to the music and giving the occasional whoop of encouragement. I guess he was alright... Just that as the idiot woman beside me irritated me more and more, I got irritated with the instructor's hyper-ness as well. Stupid woman spoiled it all I say. I might've enjoyed the class if it weren't for her. :P

Dieting in progress. Taking small meals throughout the day. A piece of toast and slice of ham for example, when the stomach calls. Or fruit salad. Just laying off the oil and fats as much as possible. Mango, kiwi and pineapple is very nice combi!! I like...

And so it begins...

Well... Just came back from a meeting with FWOC, JCRC, Rag and Flag. And it all means just one thing -- It's starting.

Moving back, pre-camp, FWOC, SLOs, IBG... It's all starting again. And this means my holiday is just about over. Not officially of course. Officially speaking I'm still on holiday. But this means preparation has to start and this means that I'll have to start e-mailing and calling and all sorts of admin. Sigh. Time to finally check my e-mail accounts.

I'm not sure I've fully recovered from the disaster that was last year. I'm not sure I can take it all up again. Even though this coming A/Y I'm supposed to be stepping down, there's still the final test of FWOC and IBG to go through. I don't know if I'm ready. Time will tell I guess.

As for the gym... Still going strong baby!!! Last two sessions Shane made me do interval training. Basically cardio exercise inbetween the weights sets instead of just taking breathers and stretching. It's more tiring than it sounds, I'll tell you that. I'm always quite winded after each session. *pant pant*

Finally started to diet. Got my first nagging from Shane on Monday. Going fruitarian for a week. Mebbe next week I'll go for salads... Hmmm... Any salad ideas?

My Abs, My Abs... They Are A-Hurting

oooooooowwwwwwww.......

*whine*

Hmmm...

Ok... Just came back from Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban and my abs still hurt. Won't Shane be pleased! Harumph... My mother is already grinning from ear to ear about it. But I suppose that the pain and the soreness is a good sign. It means all this gym and weight training is actually working. Been getting a number of comments saying I look better and all. I really hope it's true.

Anyway. Back to Harry Potter. I didn't think it was very fantastic despite all the rave reviews about it. I mean, it wasn't a terrible film. It was good. Just not fantastic. I wasn't left breathless after the show. Unlike the first movie. While the second movie bordered on long-winded, at least the quidditch scenes made me hold my breath. I do believe my heartbeat stayed rather calm during this third one. There were faults of course, but that's not to say that it wasn't enjoyable. It was very much so. I didn't fall asleep and I never once checked for time throughout the movie.

That said, here are what I feel are the pros and cons about the movie:
Pros
1)Most of the newer characters are indeed very well cast. David Thewlis is wonderfully reserved as Lupin and Emma Thompson is a nicely flouncy Trelawny.
2)Less time is spent panning the scenery and settings (as was done a lot in the first two installations) and more time on the story.
3)The movie was definitely more mature in terms of tone. The innocence of childhood fades as time passes and both the characters and the world within the books/movies grow older.
4)The Whomping Willow most absolutely deserves a fan club of its own. See how the irritatingly cute birdies get, for a lack of a better word, whomped.
5)Very nice subtleties inside the movie. One of which being when Snape says Lupin is indisposed, and the next thing you see is Lupin showing up with multiple scars on his face.

Cons
1)There was almost no character developement to speak of. The new characters are just thrown into your face and the audience does not really get a chance to become familiar with them.
2)Many of the characters except for the main three were seriously side-lined. Characters like Snape (whom I thought was a main draw for any Harry Potter story), MacGonagall, Dumbledore, the Weasley twins and too many others were severely deprived of screen time. And even so, even Hermione and Ron were put aside a fair bit.
3)Many important details and scenes were changed or excluded from the movie. Such as the history of Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs; Lupin's monthly potion requirements, the reason behind the Whompin' Willow, Sirius scraping Snapes head along the tunnel... *cough* Timeline was also changed occasionally, most significantly when Harry recieves the Firebolt.
4)Very very very little quidditch, if not none. The quidditch scenes are usually my favourite in any Harry Potter movie so imagine my disappointment when barely 2 minutes of the game was showed. Of course, this particular point is a highly biased one. :P
5)Ultimately, this latest installation into the franchaise caters more for the audience who have read the books as well. No doubt it allows for those who haven't to still enjoy themselves, but there are holes left that can only be filled if you read the book.

All in all, I attribute most of the flaws to the fact that the actual story has too many characters, too many sub-plots going on and too many details to be put into a single movie. 3 hours is already stretching it. I've no doubt that the Screenwriter I-can't-remember-his-name and Director Alphonso Cuaron did the best they could to put together the film as seamlessly as they could. Interesting and enjoyable as Rowling's stories are, I do believe that she'll do well not to get overly ambitious with her next few books.

Well... I hope I haven't been too picky about things (although I actually have quite a few more things to say. Just that the angry mob of Harry Potter fans outside my window are scaring me.) and they're really just my own opinions so you don't have to take them into account. Anyhow this particular entry seems to be a tad longer than it should've been so I'll just end here. I need to sleep too anyways.

OOooooooooooooowwwwWW!!!

My abs have been hurting since yesterday. As in REALLY hurting. Shane finally made me do sit-ups on one of those bouncy gym balls. 3 sets at that!! PAIN!!!

ookok.. update again later.. going to catch Azkaban midnight show!! woooo!!!

MEGA-DROOL!!!

Finally went to the Lord of The Rings exhibition. Went with Phoenich and it was SOOOOOOO cool!!!!! *drool drool* Wish there were more things though. Like more of the model sets and a Gollum sculpture. Poor Gollum was nowhere to be found!

I want a set of Legolas weaponry. Arrows of Lothlorien, White swords.. The WHOLE WORK!! *sniff* But it's way out of my price range. I had to settle for the $15 commemorative One-Ring set which consists of the One Ring (obviously just painted metal... not real gold *sigh*), a miniature One Ring keychain (which I gave to Phoenich) and a miniature Leaf of Lothlorien keychain. Sigh.. Wanted to get the $60 One Ring but #*%&#@(*#.. I was short of $10. Just $10 more and I could've gotten a gold-plated One Ring. *cry* And they didn't accept NETS... *sob* The real gold One Ring with registration certificate and box set cost $180. O_O *bawl*

Tomorrow is the last day... Unfortunately I'm not free.. Can't go again.. SIGH!! So sad!!!! *howl and scream* Can I just steal the whole exhibition??? Gift store included. SIIIIIGGGGGGGHHHH.....

But it was fun today. I could've just stayed there the WHOLE day! :D:D:D

I Can't Find My Legs... Hold On.. My Bum's Gone Too...

I can't feel my legs. From bum down.

Although Shane assures me that I will MOST CERTAINLY feel them over the next two days. Bit of info before I tell you what happened during today's training. Or yesterday afternoon... Seeing how it's 1.57am already... During the first consultation, Shane informed me that a person's legs, theoretically speaking, are s'posed to be able to hold twice the body weight. Can't remember if it was each leg or both together though.. Shall ask again tomorrow.

SO. That being said, I was made to do inclined leg presses. 4 sets of 20 with increasing weights as usual, with the 15kg weights, starting with zero. Just the board which itself weighs quite a bit. I'd say 5kg. So after 45kg on each side and I innocently thought we were done, the bugger informs me that we're going to do weights shedding, meaning we do short sets and increase the number of presses per set as we take off the weights. Then he goes and adds another 15kg to each leg.

I was bloody lifting 60kg on each leg. And! For the longest time, until only around 5pm (my appointment ended at 1pm) did I realize: I was lifting a GRAND TOTAL of 120kg with my legs. No wonder I couldn't feel anything after I stood up. I was already beyond pain.

Excuse me while I go locate my bum. I'm sure I'm s'posed to be sitting on it...

New Skin!!

NEW SKIN!!! *does a little dance*

Crimson Madness... for the madness of a siew mai (read: steamed dim sum). Actually the original words were reddish passion.. But it didn't seem to work for me so I changed the them. Hope the creator of the skin doesn't mind.

Wondering if I should put the chatterbox higher up on the right column.. Suggestions? Or even better, any kind soul willing to CREATE a skin just for me?? *puts on Puss-in-Boots killer "cute" look* I'd be EVER so grateful. :D

My triceps are sore. I practically couldn't move the weights during the last set of tricep lifts... My arms refused to budge. Wonder what Shane's going to do tomorrow. Probably legs again. Yay!! My fave body part to work out. Mainly coz my legs are stronger. Wahahah... He'll prob try to squeeze in abs this time.. EEK!! I hate doing abs... :P