YOU by Kazami

YOU
Samurai Champloo OST song
Lyrics by Lori Fine[COLDFEET]
Music by tsutchie
Featuring Kazami

Oh, you know
You know what to say
Say "I love you"
Oh, I think you've got to know right away
"Maybe me too"

You
You are a nice, cool breeze in me
I feel you blowing in
I can feel the sunlight all around me
You're shining

I feel beautiful when I'm around you
I'm safe and comfortable
'Cause you are wonderful
It feels natural to be around you
You've made it possible
You're wonderful

Oh, can I
Can I tell you why
Why I need you
Oh, my life
You made it a cloudless sky I can fly through

You
You are a deep, strong wind in me
I feel you - Come on in
Can you see the sunlight all around me
You're smiling

I feel beautiful when I'm around you
I'm safe and comfortable
'Cause you are wonderful
It feels natural to be around you
You've made it possible
You're wonderful

Ok.... Aside from the lousy - and very weird - English and horrible diction (a-lound vs around...) this is a very very very nice song from Samurai Champloo ep 17. If only my blog could sing. Damn I need to STUDY !! STUDY!!! STUDY!!!

Avoid Avoid

I'm avoiding XXX (something? someone? wldn't you like to know...)... I know why I started avoiding XXX. But sometimes I feel myself weakening and I start to question if I really have a reason to avoid XXX. It should be for the better, and that's the only reason why I persist in my avoidance (if there's even such a word). Arrgh... I need a shrink.

Why Melancholy??

I seriously don't know what's wrong with me these few days. Everyday when I wake up, I feel this slight twang of sadness. I wash it off in the shower and go through my day as always. But then I come home, I switch on my computer and again, that same feeling of sadness will hit me. And I find myself stuck listening to sad or soppy Chinese love songs! And they're the same ones over and over again!! And I'm not sure exactly what's bothering me... Cripes, I need a shrink.

At the moment my song-obsession is this new Japanese song by Rie Fu called "Life is Like a Boat". It's half in English and half in Japanese. Ever since I heard it, I've been playing it on my computer. I tried to look for a translation but all I could find was a transription of the song. In romaji no less so I couldn't really tell what the actual words were. But I've set out to translate it myself and it's not easy working on just romaji. It's got a really nice meaning. If I could I'd write it out here in what I think is the accurate kana but the last time I tried to put Japanese characters here, they turned into funny symbols. So again, there's no point in putting only the romaji version here and I'm definitely not done translating it. It's kinda sad, but kinda hopeful as well. I love it. I guess I could type out the English parts of the song, but I'll only do that if people really wanna know what this song is about. Else I think I'll only post it here when.. IF I actually finish translating it.

Lousy Weekend

Aside being ultra-unproductive, this weekend was just lousy because right now, my chest feels like its got a hard ball of lead inside instead of a heart.

A couple of stupid things happened and even more stupid words were said. The worse part is that I let myself get too affected by all of it. In truth they were probably just... Stupid specks of dust on the horizon. But I let those stupid specks become big blobs that blocked out the sun. Excuse the lousy analogies.

I can't help but wonder - Is it more self-centered to think that you can identify with another person's feelings? That what you feel from your own experiences equals that other person's; Or to insist that what you're feeling or going through is just different from other people, no matter how similar it might seem? Or is it really just a point of view? Or maybe we just say these things to comfort the other or ourselves, depending on whose crisis it is. Do I make sense?

I'm sorry I didn't say this to you over MSN, but I didn't know how to say or explain it. I really believe that what you're going through is different from what I'm going through. I can't explain it. I didn't choose to be that person's safety net, wittingly OR unwittingly. But I want out. I'm not sure I can take the mental/emotional assault anymore. Yet at the same time I'm not sure I'm strong enough to break away. I know that you'll probably argue... Try to rationalize, rather, that you're going through the same thing and you're feeling exactly the way I feel. I'm not going to argue with you. Simply because I can't argue with you. And I don't want to. How do you argue with someone who makes arguments for a living? You can't. So I won't. It's just different. I'm sorry, but it just is.

It just is.

Of Safety Nets and Failsafe Devices

It sucks being a safety net. Is it written somewhere on my forehead that I'm the emergency airbag that will break your fall each time you decide to crash and burn? I'm tired of being taken for granted. I'm sick of being that failsafe constant in your life. See me truely. Either acknowledge my existance as a separate identity from your own, or let me go.

Just let me go.

Can Siew Mais Be Oversteamed?

It.
Is.
Damn.
Freaking.
HOT!!!!

I'm going mad in this heat. Maybe that's why I'm off doing crazy things. Jemalelinh can testify. Bleah. Some more going to give up "The Visit of The Tai Tai" just to go back to KR to watch Culture Nite. But I DID promise Raymond. And like I told Jemalelinh, between Raymond and *cough* SOMEONE... I'd choose Raymond. Lalala. I'm biased. Hehehehe!!

Found out just how immature some people can be today when I accompanied Mel Fann to Concourse to get things for her play. We were on the topic of the personalities of certain people and she told me how a particular someone -- I'll call him Beast. Some of you will know who I'm talking about. -- was apparently pissed at me for revealing at a dinner gathering, AFTER he revealed it himself, that I'd known beforehand about his breakup and that I heard the girl's side of the story before his. His reasoning being that being in the same working committee for so long I was s'posed to be closer to him instead of the girl. And so he's pissed that I found out her story before his.

What the hell??

Ok. So I did let out to everyone at the dinner that I knew about the breakup, but I INSIST that I only did so after - AFTER - Beast announced it himself. And for the record, my 'revealing' wasn't an 'announcement'. It was just a normal, "Yeah. *nod*" And the rest were like, "Huh?!? You knew already? Why you never say??" Beast was like.. Shocked that I knew...

Furthermore, it wasn't as if I went all out to find out what happened. Please... I'm not that boliao and I wasn't even close to that girl during that point of time. I found out by accident coz she just happened to be in the room of a friend I went over to visit, who happens to be this girl's best friend. They were talking about it when I popped into the room and I just got pulled into the whole conversation. In any case, what's the logic of I'm supposed to be closer to him therefore I should've found out his side of the story first?? Where's the logic in that???? And you're PISSED at me for knowing beforehand that you broke up?? I'm not about to take sides just because you're my friend you know. Well.. Supposedly my friend anyhow. OMG. This just brings guys and immaturity to whole new levels. Is it any wonder why I can't bring myself to fully trust men? For Pete's sake!! Grow a BRAIN!!

ARGH! MEN!! *pui*

Sucker!!

Damn... I'm such a sucker for subtle romances... And when it's a tragic romance, you've got me good.

Why do I always fall for the anime character who's walking on the edge of good vs. evil?? I need help.

Cinema Cinema Cinema

Sometime ago I posted a Movie Wishlist... Never actually got to watch any of the movies on that list although Shuhui and I ended up going to watch 2 other movies (13 Going On 30 and Seeing Other People) after that anyway. Heheh. But anyhow here's my latest Movie Wishlist. Hopefully I'll get to watch at least one before the exams.

Movie Wishlist:
1) 2046 ***** (TOP PRIORITY!! Wahaha!! Tony Leung and Kimura Takuya!! *drool*)
2) Sky Captain ****
3)....

Actually the rest don't matter. I just REALLY wanna watch those two movies. *crosses fingers* Die die must watch 2046.

Oooh! Added a couple of things on the Wishing Icicle. Bored people can go have a look. Wahaha...

What Possessed Me...?

I can't believe I did what I just did. I can't believe it.

Slap me, Mars!

New Section

I've added a new section on my sidebar called "The Wishing Icicle". Basically my wishlist. Was going to call it "Christmas Desires" initially but felt that it didn't really work with the theme of my whole blog. If anyone has a better suggestion, do tell me... I'll treat you to an ice milo or something.. Heheh..

Just felt like adding it to my blog. Don't really expect anyone to buy me any of the mentioned wishes, although I suppose I don't mind if you do. Hahaha! But more than anything it's just a little extra ranting that reveals the workings of my strange little mind... I think. Oh well. Take a look, have a laugh or just keel over from the absurdity of it. Heh.

Satisfaction

I got a B for my AS3213 mid-term!! This despite not finishing writing and not really studying except for the night before. *Big smile*

It's looking goooood... :D

Return of The Sleepless Nights

Tasks for Monday 11 Oct:
1) Finish AS3213 proposal [DONE]
2) Prepare for AS3213 presentation [Semi-done]
3) Prepare for JS2227 presentation
4) Prepare for JS2225 tutorial
5) Prep for JLPT 4 revision class

Well now... One down... Four to go. ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........

[Edit note: It just occured to me that in the previous entry "Party Deja Vu"... That's the first time I've actually mentioned Guowei's name in my blog... Ever. Oh well. Now everybody knows. :p]

Saint Siew Mai

I am feeling absolutely justified.

I went to the gym today and I ran on the threadmill!! Only for about 10minutes lah but WAH!! It's been so long since I ran. Think the last time I ran was before I went Japan. After that well... One thing after another. But TODAY!! Ok so my ankle staged a rather big protest after that but I felt WONDERFUL! So I finally went back to my usual 30min cardio before weights training. Woo hoo!!!

Bring on the killer cakes! I'm not afraid of you!! Wahahahahahahaha!!!!

I feel so saintly now. *look of smug content*

Party Deja Vu...

Went to Mel Fann's 21st B'day party last night. Said a lot of crazy things and did a lot of crazy things and er... *ahem* did a couple of kinky things... Ok perverts not THAT kinky!! Jeez... Hahaha.. Anyhow it was fun. And the cake was GOOOOD!! Regent Hotel cake wor... Dun play play... Heh.

'Twas a good break from school stuff. Though there were a couple of unexpected (but by no means unpleasant) surprises...

1) Saw Jasmine again after too long!! I'd kinda forgotten that she and Mel were friends. The last time we met up was the Marche outing that we had when Debz was back for the hols. I suppose being in different faculties which are like miles away from each other plays a big big factor but MY GOODNESS!!! Is it really so hard for a bunch of old pals to meet up for lunch or something? Come to think of it I haven't exactly seen Pukey since before the mid-term break and I haven't seen Sharon for a while either. EEK.. Must start planning regular lunch/dinner/study dates again. Else I don't think I'll ever get to see these people until Sharon's engagement party. Gah.

2) Second thing wasn't exactly a surprise I guess. It was more of "woah... deja vu..". Met a fellow there who reminded me so much of two people. The first person... Won't mention his name for various reasons. :p But this person, call him X, kinda set the standard in some way. He's not someone I ever had feelings for. We were just always good friends but he's just become one of the more important guys in my life. And I think if I ever fell for someone he'd be something like X. Which brings me to the second person that I was reminded of.

Guowei.
***Warning: Stop reading now if you wanna be spared a lot of whining and nonsense and mush. Yes. Mush.

I know I know. Aren't I supposed to be over him by now? Yes, I am. But hey! I'm entitled to some nostalgia! Anyhow. Party Boy reminded me of Guowei as well. Not a bad thing but not necessarily a good thing as well. Guowei was the first guy I actually thought I could have a serious relationship with, which is saying a lot. I mean yeah I've had serious crushes before but he was different. You know how with the normal crush guy you just kinda get excited or flustered when he's around, and your heart's beating like crazy? Well. I didn't get excited with Guowei around me. I felt calmer. I felt glad. I felt... The world's ok. Coz how could it not be? And my heart didn't beat like crazy. It beat just fine. Ok well, there was crazy beating when people asked me about it but never with him. He wasn't exactly like X but they had some very similar traits.

And now imagine: Party Boy's like BOTH of them. My mind (and stomach) was just reeling. I wouldn't say I was like fatally attracted or anything but I did want find out what this guy was all about. Yet at the same time I wanted him to just disappear. I wanted nothing to do with him. It was kinda confusing. Still is actually. I still can't help thinking about what kind of person he actually is. Haven't stopped thinking actually. I hope I never have to see him again.

*Yawn*

-JS2227 Japan and China Lecture with Terada Takashi.
-Big improvement from Moose, but still incredibly yawn-able.
-Lt 14. Damn cold. Sensitivity to extreme temperatures kicking in. Can't breathe. *gack*
-Improvement in the ankle area though still cannot sit cross-legged, rotate ankle or do funny gymnastics. Going down the stairs requires some amount of skill
-Am super stoned and lazy and that's why am writing in point form today instead of usual paragraphs. zzz
-Have a rather mentally-confused person sitting next to me. Mel Fann is alternately wanting to snore (at the lecture) and laugh (at my antics).
-Have totally lost Terada and no longer know what he is talking about. Mebbe I shld be attempting to pay some attention.
-There goes my Flamenco lesson tonight. Dammit.
-Surely one hour is more than enough attention for Terada. Or any other lecturer for that matter.
-30 min more to freedom and to the end of another $10 as I take a cab home. *sob sob*
-Conclude that sprained ankles are a conspiracy of taxi drivers to earn a lot of money.

Viral Fever... Abscess... Now...

AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Today is just not my day.

First of all there was the American Law mid-term, for which I only studied a couple of readings, so I was just crapping my way through the whole thing. But I can live with lousy mid-terms.

Nooo... The wonderful part is this - I was up until about 3am studying for this thing before I went to bed. But I COULDN'T SLEEP!!! No matter what I did! ARGH. So I got up again at 6am disgruntled and slightly harrassed. Did the entire mid-term with my brain half-covered in wool. Bah.

And the Even More Wonderful Part!! On my way to my paper, I walked across one of the carparks and tripped on one of those holed tiles they usually put in outdoor carparks. So I fell into the stupid hole and sprained my ankle. Well... At first I thought it was just a slight sprain coz it didn't hurt that much after the initial sharp pain. So I carried on my usual business. But as the day dragged on, my ankle continued to swell and swell and soon I was limping to my Japan & China tutorial. Turns out it's a sprain-sprain. Hurumph..

Now comes the absolute icing on the cake. After tut, I go down to the canteen with Mel Fann to her TS meeting.

And then I slip down the stairs.

MID-TERMS!!! AAAAAHHHH!!!!

Yuck. It's that time of the semester. Essays due, project updates due, presentations due, mid-terms.... ARGH!!! I hate it. Bah! Just had one mid-term today for Genes & Society. I mean... Ok... So it was MCQ... By right it should've been a breeze.

NOT!

The questions were damn cheem. And I don't remember any of the handouts having any of those cheem terminology inside. Bah. But it was quite farnee lah... Coz in the end, Belle, Evange and me just ended up faking all the answers.. Hehehehe... And I tell you.... It would've been SOOOOOOOO easy to cheat (not that I did... REALLY!! I didn't!!) coz there were so many pple in the LT that we were told not to leave spaces!! We could've just shared answers and they wouldn't have known!! I dunno WHY they didn't think about that or why they didn't think to split the lecture group into different test venues. I thought that's what's usually done when the group is too big. Tsk. Funny Science people.

One more mid-term on Monday. Argh. American Law. Argh!! Essay format. ARRGH!!!!

AC stint will be over tomorrow!!! YAY!!! *throws confetti* No more impulse favours!! Begone!!!

New Skin!!

Got a new skin!!! Had to do a lot of customising though... Took me super super long.. Bleah... There's got to be a faster way to do this...

Test test

Just registered with ImageShack(TM) which is a free image hosting site. Apparently I can upload an unlimited number of images as long as each image is no larger than 1024kb.. Hmmm... Well... I just uploaded a picture I drew some time ago. So let's test out the link they provided for a thumbnail pic... It should appear small and when you click on it, a larger version should pop up. Let me know if it works...



Now... I just need to find a new skin....

More Quizzes!!! Queen Bummer Strikes Again!!!

You are Form 9, Vampire: The Undying.

"And The Vampire was all that remained on
the blood drowned creation. She attempted to
regrow life from the dead. But as she was
about to give the breath of life, she was
consumed in the flame of The Phoenix and the
cycle began again."

Some examples of the Vampire Form are Hades (Greek)
and Isis (Egyptian).
The Vampire is associated with the concept of
death, the number 9, and the element of fire.
Her sign is the eclipsed moon.

As a member of Form 9, you are a very realistic
individual. You may be a little idealistic,
but you are very grounded and down to earth.
You realize that not everything lasts, but you
savor every minute of the good times. While
you may sometimes find yourself lonely, you
have strong ties with people that will never be
broken. Vampires are the best friends to have
because they are sensible.


Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Woah... I knew I was morbid but this takes the cake!! How true do you guys think these quizzes are?


What Is Your Animal Personality?
brought to you by Quizilla

Bwahahahhahah!!!! I like... :D:D:D


You have a Lost Soul. No one is really sure what
that can always mean, because it can be defined
in many ways. As Legend goes, lost souls were
the spirits of passed away people who are
neither in heaven nor hell. They walk the
earth, brooding mysteriously, always appearing
when you expect it least. So hence, if you have
a Lost Soul, then you are probably very
insecure and shy. Stuck in your own little box,
you watch the world fly by as a loner. You dont
know your place. You seemingly dont have a
place in society or an interest. You are a very
capricious person, and are confused and
frustrated about where you belong. You crave
for the sense and feeling of home-but have not
obtained it yet.


What Kind of SOUL do you posses? (For Girls only) Incredible Anime Pictures!
brought to you by Quizilla

Ok... I have to say that this one is one of the most true... To me at least.... I'm freaked.