Everyone who reads this blog probably already knows that I've been on academic probation and that this sem was my last chance to redeem myself. The only person who didn't know was my mother. I mean, she knew that I had failed badly during my second year, but I only told her that much at the end of last sem. She didn't know that at that point in time I had already been on academic probation for one sem. And it wasn't easy telling her. After that everytime she brought up the subject of my grades it became difficult to communicate. I couldn't talk to her about it. But somehow yesterday I managed to sit down with her during lunch and talk about it calmly. I didn't become particularly upset or anything. I told her my chances of getting off probation was probably 50-50. So she suggested going down to the Dean's office to talk to the Dean or one of the Vice-Deans. Said that at least when the time comes for real appeals, the deanery would have an idea of my situation already.
So I went home and called the office to try my luck. Of course getting a hearing with the Dean is never that easy so they told me to go and find any of the admin officers first. So with Aronwy's advice to get it over and done with asap, I went down to school. Nekoweenie came along to lend moral support and for that I am ETERNALLY grateful. It's never easy when you have to go face the people on top and beg for mercy. So we got to AS7 and I asked to see an admin officer for advice. But they told me that they couldn't really advise me on anything until the results for this sem actually came out. Still, I am thankful that the AO on duty went through the trouble of listening to me and trying to find someone whom I could talk to. And I'm so glad that Nekoweenie came with me. Seriously if you hadn't been there I think I would have just imploded in front of the AO's desk. *POOMFFF*
So the wait for the results continue. Though at the same time, I am considering finding an alternative path of study. Some things that my mum and Nekoweenie said made me wonder. I was quite amazed when my mum said that it can't be denied that I was depressed and that I obviously had a problem the whole of last year. I never spoke to her about it and yet she knew, even though she never found out the root of the problem. Then she said that she could never quite understand why I insisted on studying arts even though I seem more comfortable with logic-based or methodical subjects. Made me wonder why I did too. It's kind of true you know. Just look at my 'O'-level results. Then when I told Nekoweenie about it, she said why not go study something like mass communications? Popular culture and science technology all mashed together.
I'm amazed at how other people can know me better than I know myself. I always thought myself as some kind of artsy fartsy person. But I'm really just a geek inside. Even Jemalelinh knows it without my having to say it. But then you know a lot about me without my having to say it Jemalelinh.. :p I'm a mixed breed I guess. Hahaha... Anyhow I've been looking at Monash and Curtin Techological University. My mum seems to like Monash a lot. Though Curtin's got something called Internet Studies and surprise surprise, it's actually a Bachelor of Arts. Talk about cross-faculty discipline. But I haven't really made up my mind. I might still decide to go back to studying the life sciences like bio or chem. I should decide quickly though since most foundation courses in Australia start in Feb and so do the diploma courses in Monash College (which will allow me to go straight into second year at Monash Uni). And yet... I'd like to just stay in Singapore a while longer. So here's hoping for the best.
I hope.
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